I didn't realise how obscure this actually was...until I tried to explain it to someone line by line. It didn't seem so obscure when I was writing it...try to read between the lines and make sense of it though.

It seems pretty clear to me...
Then again, I have a very strange way of thinking.
Your descriptive writing is very good, and I will be following your works from now on. ^_^

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A Bus stops at a Bus Station
A Train stops at a Train Station
I have a Workstation
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Now with deviations!

Thankyou very much I'm glad you understood it.

Me likey I actually think the last line is my fav... but there we go Brilliant as always darling xXx

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~Beauty is in the eye of the beholder~

Thankyou very much Fran liked the last line too...so maybe it's not as bad as I feared Which is good news...the whole poem generally seems to have been taken well so far so I can't complain, thanks for your compliments

Ok, commenty. If your friends come back, hide this comment somewhere so I don't get ridiculed for something, ok?

Man, your work is much more awesome when you're happy. Abandon your angsty work, and just do uplifting. Hell, be depressed, but write on the bright side. It suits your style.

Your style - good link there to a critique. Baditudes first. Don't use the bold thing like that. Looks like you were pressing buttons at random and wrote the pome around that. The line breaks the mood transistion too. Not coolio.

But aside from that, good golly! A rather splendidly unique style - it reads like every line is a condensed two line couplet. How interesting, I said.

Your imagery is also superb, and I can find no faults. Hurrah! Hear my cannon salute. *bang*

Yay Mick's finally commenting! And he gives me praise!!! HURRAH!!! Thanks It does feel good to write happy stuff, and I do intend to write more of it, much more.

What you said about the bold thing...I wrote the poem away from the computer and only decided to use the bold when it came to typing it back out on here. I thought I was being rather clever, hehe...I can see what you mean about breaking the transition though. Thanks for the advice, anyway.

No worries, keep up the happitude etc etc

personally, i think the bold thing is really good, i see what '*anothercynic' is sayin about it breaking the transition, but i think thats because the line before doesnt quite balance;
'the old leather-coloured feathers'
'Some cleverly written bold letters'
are kinda an echoing couplet within the lines, and the extra syllable in the second makes me rush it when i read it, which does seem to interfere with the mood. id throw in a syllable on the first line of the two, but thats me and my desperate need for symmetry.
i dont think the bold bit detracts from the rest of it too much, coming as it does a line after the 'However,' which naturally shifts the gears a bit. ultimately it down to personal taste, but id keep it in, since it is cleverly done, and the line itself fits in beautifully.

id also suggest a full stop after:
'Surprised eyes rise briefly, then seem to retreat
Half-blinded by the bright white that just might
Strike the slightest smile.'

just cause i think itd make the use of while/relight a lot subtler, and in-keeping with the opening.

like faintest whisper, i think the last line is wonderful, but i can see what you mean about the one before. the '...' kinda reflects that ur not (or werent) quite happy with it; id avoid doing that as its very trail off-y, and distances the last line a bit too much from the rest of the poem for my liking.

i hope what ive said isnt taken the wrong way, i only made these points because:
a) i really really like the poem
b) from your comments you dont seem as satisfied with it as youd like to be
c) other people had made picky comments first!

so 'sorry' if its a bit intrusive having some random guy pick your work apart, but i dont even think that theyre bad bits, theyre just bits that i think could be better, particularly from the person who wrote the rest of it! congratulations on a tremendously evocative poem!