You never saw a girl hold quite so much beauty
But looking pretty has always been her duty
She never deserved such life of cruelty.
"Help..."
Almost angelic, her dress a dark shade of white
There's something about her that isn't quite right
Un-noticed in all but a certain light.
"...someone..."
The expression on her porcelain face, pale as a corpse...
The disturbing looks of anguish, pain and remorse
The face of a young woman aged by force.
"...please..."
Sadness curling the corners of her lips
She moves in the same way an old record skips
And she's at the mercy of my fingertips.
"...heal..."
You can't giftwrap a kiss but she'll try her best
A drop of blood runs down the sleeve of her dress
Her left wing is torn, and her dreams nothing less.
"...my..."
Where blood once coloured her cheeks like peaches
Tears run down them now, polluting her features
She longs to be airborne like the other winged creatures.
"...broken..."
Her aching heart still beats, colder than snow
She'll never again experience the life she used to know
She lives once a year, but she's only there for show.
"...wing."
Hope gleams in her eyes...she refuses to see
That she'll never fly again, she'll never be free
The faerie at the top of my Christmas tree.















Comments
I hope you win something.
--
You try my shoes on for a change, they look so good but fit so strange.
No Doubt
Member of ~burn-p0etry
You wrote about the same thing? I'll go and check yours out now if it's submitted. Good look for the contest.
--
You try my shoes on for a change, they look so good but fit so strange.
No Doubt
Member of ~burn-p0etry
I like the tercet structure - it's very exposed which means it's rarely used, but here it is utilised exquisitely. That said - the single words between stanzas is a little experimental for me, but I am old fashioned.
The first half is definitely my favourite - culminating in a wonderful simile. Then the rather splendid change, when I catch on to the point of the pome. Hell, maybe I'm slow - but it didn't seem cliched to me.
I have to point this out, in deference to my extreme pedantism - spelling "airborne". While mentioing that line - I don't think it needs the other "the" to aid fluidity. But frankly I'm just babbling.
Good work
Thanks indeed very muchly for your feedback Mick
Love you xx
I'll see you next week boyo xx
Hey, I'm an eclectic dude. No one can predict my likes. Well, much.
--
`~Talon95~
please rate this on a scale of 1-10: [link]
Previous Page12Next Page